I am alive and I am in the process.

My addictions began in high school. At 14 after being verbally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually abused, I was introduced to drugs and quickly became addicted. I followed whatever crowd would give me the best fix, and I did whatever I could to get what I needed. One night after a date became violent I walked away with burns. I had so much pain bottled up from things I had done and things that had been done to me that I began picking at the burns, which turned into to continuously burning and cutting myself. I hated myself. I used razors, lighters, and whatever I could get my hands on to punish myself. I was filled with so much shame. I would use drugs and alcohol to numb and cutting to punish. Cutting calmed my constant anxiety, I carried a pocket knife or lighter with me wherever I went. At 18, I was being forced to go to a Christian youth conference for a week. At the end of the week the pastor and his wife pulled me aside to kick me out of youth group because I was a bad influence on the other students. As the pastor’s wife shared her testimony with me, I noticed she had peace, and I did not. The difference was Jesus. So, I accepted Christ, yet the next morning I woke up going through withdrawal and needing to cut. I thought that Jesus didn’t love me because he didn’t make it all go away. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was still tempted, and I hated myself. I struggled and stumbled through the next several years, going to a Christian college because I knew if I went to a state school I would have overdosed either on purpose or on accident. I used cutting to get sober my sophomore year of college from drugs and alcohol, and I was still so ashamed about cutting that I told no one.

It wasn’t until six years ago when I came to Glad Tidings that God began to show me that healing was for this side of heaven. I finally opened up to Carissa, and I was expecting wrath and more shame, and I was met with love and grace. Pastor Jason and Carissa spoke Truth over me. They loved me when I hated myself. I had the opportunity to go through deliverance and forgive myself and all those who had hurt me. I no longer had to punish myself. Jesus made it clear that he took stripes on his back, so I did not have to make more on my skin. He took the punishment, so I did not have to. By his wounds we are healed, the wounds I created only kept me in bondage. After deliverance, I took God’s Truth that I did not believe about myself and I spoke that Truth over myself day after day. I replaced lies of damaged, worthless, not good enough, too far gone with God’s truth of pure, whole, free, and forgiven. I realized that I was a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I must take care of that temple by not only quit self-injury, but how I talked about the temple He created. God does not make junk. Even when my feelings do not line up with the Truth, I chose to believe what the Bible said about me. I am forgiven, washed clean, a pure temple of God, and he has a plan and a purpose for my life that the enemy cannot steal. I honestly didn’t think I would be alive at this point in my life, but I am alive and I am in the process. I am learning how to walk in a joy and freedom that I never thought was possible.

CalendarShare your story

We want to hear how God is bringing real transformation to your life.


Why tell your story?

Our transformation story is the best tool we have to spread the Good News. It is personal, it is real, and it is the thing we know the most about our own experience with God.


Write your story down.

Take some time to sit down, pray, and write out your personal testimony asking the Holy Spirit for help. Writing it down will help you organize your thoughts.


How long should it be?

Your story should be able to be told in 3 minutes or less. This may seem like a challenge but a good story should be engaging and concise. All of Jesus’s parables were this way and we would love to tell stories like Jesus.

Focus on three areas of your life:

  • 1

    Your life before Christ

  • 2

    How you met Christ

  • 3

    The Difference Jesus has made in your life

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